Other Names: Abalone Shell, Oyster Shell, Ear-shells, Sea-ears and Venus's-ears
Color: Multi-color
Appearance: Abalone is a beautiful shell showing a play of iridescent colors across a polished surface. Shells are the outer housing (exoskeleton) of sea-creatures, and are organic gemstones which have been used in jewelry making and religious ceremonies for countless ages. Abalone has been grazing on algae in the selected waters of our planet for over 80 million years.
Pronunciation: Ab-ah-lone-ee
Mineral Information: These shells are comprised of multi-layered Mother of Pearl nacre, chemically similar to the Oyster. Color bands found in the shells are a direct result of diet and genetic factor, and are made possible by several minute layers of aragonite. The outer layer is protected by a covering called Peristrum, which is a translucent shellac-like overlay.
Transparency: Opaque
Hardness: 3.5-4
Class: Organic
Rarity: Common
Source: Worldwide
Chakra: Primary: Solar Plexus. Secondary: Heart, Throat.
Abalone is associated with all of the Chakra energies. In particular, it seems to work the best on the Solar Plexus Chakra, stimulating that gut feeling. It is also especially good for the Heart Chakra, as it gently clears the heart of fear, sorrow and negative emotions. Abalone allows your intuitive resources to stimulate psychic development and intuition through the Third Eye Chakra.
Zodiac: Cancer, All
Other Correspondences:
Planets: Moon, Venus, Yemaya
Deities: Aphrodite, Venus
Element: Water
Vibrates to Number: 7
Health Aid: Abalone Shells strengthens the immune system, energize the body and aid in the assimilation of proteins. Use abalone shell as a calming influence for menstrual problems. Abalone benefits the heart and helps digestion. It strengthens muscular tissue, especially the heart and is also a strong anti-carcinogenic. It is often used as a container for spirit offerings or smudging. It aligns the etheric body and balances the feminine qualities. It is said to bestow tranquility, abundance and spirit. They are especially useful to counterbalance overly dynamic energies due to their watery nature. Abalone has been used for arthritis and other joint disorders, muscle problems, the heart, and digestion. Mystical lore suggests that abalone is helpful for arthritis and other joint disorders, muscle problems, the heart, and digestion.
Emotional & Spiritual Aid: Invigorating. Associated with healing, serenity, calmness, nobility, and honesty. Good for calming people and making them less afraid, allowing them to feel more serene and balanced. Good for calming people who are easily agitated or constantly on edge. The pastel rainbow colors of the Abalone shell enhance feelings of peace, beauty, compassion and love. Work with the Abalone shell when you are facing tough emotional issues. Abalone will soothe the nerves and encourage a calm demeanor. Abalone Shell helps to gently open our psychic and intuitive connections. Abalone Shell is an excellent companion when needing guidance in relationships. It enhances the four C's--communication, cooperation, commitment and compromise, which lead to harmony and balance. Abalone shell enhances expression, in both word and deed. It allows us to understand both sides of any issue by placing us in the other persons "shoes". The Abalone shell has been tossed and turned in the ebb and flow of the ocean for many years. Through this process, its true beauty shines through. The Abalone shell is a perfect gift for those who have survived traumatic experiences, to let them know that while they may have been tossed and turned themselves, in the end, their true beauty shines for all to see. A very popular use for abalone is for empowering love spells and for love talismans. Many beginners call it a “love amulet”, but amulets repel, while talismans attract. That’s why amulets are typically for protection. If you want to attract love, then you want a love talisman, not a love amulet. Abalone amulets protect the witch from negative energy. Abalone talismans attract creativity to the witch. A magick amulet protects from some kind of energy, while a magick talisman draws in some kind of energy. A witch can magickally charge the same abalone as both an amulet and a talisman. The negative ions created by the salt water's crashing waves brings healing energy with the abalone shell. These shells are associated with healing, serenity, calmness, nobility, and honesty. Abalone is also reported to stimulate psychic development and intuition, and promote imagination in a healthy way. Abalone is purported to be especially useful for handling and calming emotional situations, and be very soothing to the emotions. Having abalone nearby when working through an emotional situation with someone is said to be beneficial, and promotes cooperation.
Folklore: A disc of abalone shell is worn on the forehead of Apache girls as they greet the sun in the morning of their initiation into womanhood. Cancer and June Birthstone. Nicknamed the sea ears, the Abalone's flattened, oval shape with iridescent interior was used by the Native Northwest American Indians as a natural vessel for cleansing, offerings and prayers. In ancient times, royalty decorated their robes and turbans with them, Stings of Abalone shell jewelry were used by the women. During the era of barter and trade, the Abalone was often used as "coin of the realm". In many parts of the world, at archeological digs, artifacts have been found made from these shells. Today, many forms of jewelry, from formal to baroque, are designed with the unique characteristics and beauty of the Abalone utilized to the fullest. The Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite, sometimes rode the ocean waves on a giant abalone shell. Abalone has been used by Kemetic (ancient Egyptian), Phoenician, Greek, Roman, Italian (Stregha), Celtic (Druidic and Faerie), French, Spanish, Portuguese, Gypsy, Norse, Germanic, British, Scottish, African, Polynesian, Japanese, Chinese, Asian Indian, and Native American peoples.
Other Notes: Abalone can be cleansed and discharged of negative energy every month by running it under warm water or placing it in a bowl of water and adding a teaspoon of sea salt. Charge abalone by the light of the sun and/or full moon for 24-48 hours.
Decided to finally let my intuition out of the box to play. Funny- I didn't realize how much I missed it. Along with my ex trying so hard to "discourage" it (of course now that I know he was cheating for so long it makes perfect sense), I also think that I was trying to tamp it down unconsciously as well. There were too many signs that my conscious mind couldn't seem to piece together. I think I didn't want to have to piece them together, in the hopes that I was really, really wrong. Turns out I wasn't.
I used to depend so much on my instincts, those gut feelings that just seemed to lead me along. I think my blocking them out is part of the reason I have been getting stuck with my writing lately. I remembered today about a meeting with my school counselor in high school. She was asking me about my parents' divorce, I think, and she asked me how I get away from all the stress. I told her I rode my horse, I read, and I wrote stories. Writing stories was my favorite way, because I could just completely escape. She was concerned with that answer, and probed further. I explained to her that when I wrote my stories, I just... disappeared into it. I didn't have to think, I didn't have to work at it, the words just flowed into my head, and it was just my job to get them down on paper. I know that doesn't seem to make much sense, but that's really how it works. Unfortunately, lately, as in the last however many years, that hasn't worked so well for me.
I think that is going to change very soon. Over the last few years, I've had snatches of feelings here and there, and sometimes I've trusted them. Usually I just ignored them because really, is it Spirit talking to me, or is just my desires rising to the surface? I had learned to doubt myself, and unlearning something is always more difficult than learning. But I'm working on it. In the past two weeks or so the gates have opened further and further.
Just within the last week alone, I decided for no reason to make a much larger lunch than usual (roasted root veggies with onions and garlic), and just before it came out of the oven, my cousin stopped by to visit, and there was EXACTLY enough food for the two of us. Then the next day I made dinner (pork roast with veggies and pasta) and for some strange reason I made a HUGE portion when I've been trying to cut down my portions to reduce leftovers (granted I love me some leftovers but still...), and two friends (one of who is a BIG eater) stopped by and T-man invited them to dinner. There was plenty for all.
A few nights later the same thing happened, and again I had made enough dinner without planning it consciously. Saturday I went on a frenzy of house cleaning. I've been letting things go, I think a little depressed and stressed out by some things going on in my life. Saturday I even got into the tub and scrubbed the walls. Ew. But my home almost sparkled like it hasn't in a long time. I had four unexpected guests that day, and three of their children along too. Guess it was "Visit Gryph Day." Fortunately, my place was pretty cleaned up. Or at least as cleaned up as I can catch up in one day.
There have been plenty of other instances. I get a little frustrated at having to explain these feelings sometimes, but fortunately some people do get it, so I have to fall back on. I know I'm not crazy- and my friends even used to call me to see what I felt about things all of the time. They trusted my intuition too.
I guess it's time for me to trust me a little more again.
Going through my stone collection at the moment to pull some nice pieces to send home with some students in a Witchcraft basics class that I'm helping with on Thursday night. I think I have a nice enough selection. I am doing something a little different than last time, since last time took several hours of poring over goodies LOL!!! I guess I have "too many" rocks... Heh heh heh... Even though my collection isn't even CLOSE to the size it used to be!
I've always had an affinity to stones. I don't know why; honestly I've never questioned it before. I had to train myself long ago not to just pick up and pocket any rock that screamed at me to take them home. Oh boy- especially with all my hiking! There's an amazing beach on Whidbey Island- Ebey's Landing- that's a pebble beach, and as it is I still bring home at least a handful every trip. :blush: I can't help it LOL!
At least it's now paying off! Haha!!
I just finished watching a beautiful movie. It was titled "Nell," and it was about a woman who had never been exposed to our so-called society. It broke my heart at the same time that it inspired me. Towards the end, Nell explains to the world that we know "such big things," but that we don't really see the little things. And as a general rule, she is completely right. To quote the movie, "You have big things. You know big things. But you don't look into each other's eyes. And you're hungry for quietness." How true is that?
Right after finishing my movie, I came across an amazing quote... "Rainbows and butterflies are themselves beautiful and highly symbolic, but they are also representative of all the small miracles of our life - the little things that are so easy to overlook, yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment to notice and to pay attention. Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies, for all God's creatures - large and small, for the the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain, for the tree veiled in the season's first frost, for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you." ~Jonathon Lockwood Huie
I sometimes get teased when I get distracted by a hawk winging its way above me, or the way water trickles over a rock, or the sound of a bird chiming it's happiness. When I stop to photograph a snail, or a patch of mushrooms, or the way the moss drapes across a branch. Those are my rainbows and butterflies.
How simple, and yet how true... We know big things, we have big things, but we certainly don't look into each other's eyes. Do you ever seek out the quietness? Do you ever turn off the TV, turn off the phone- and I mean OFF, not just on silent, turn off the video games and the computer and the radio, and just be? I hike. It's my way of escaping the world. One of the most amazing moments I can remember this last year was sitting before a waterfall, just me and my dog, and just being. I don't know how much time had passed, it could have been hours or just a few minutes. I just know one thing... it was still. In spite of the water pouring over the cliff above me, and the river churning below me... In spite of the many hikers I am certain were up on the cliff behind me... For that span of time, I was alone, just me and my dog. I closed my eyes and felt the spray on my face... and just was.
I sometimes get these strange overwhelming urges to try to look certain people up. It never goes anywhere, it seems like no matter how hard I am reaching out to these people they are never reaching back. But for some reason the urges stick.
One of those people is the person I look back now and consider a priestess of our little high school pagan group. I've tracked her down on Myspace, and added her as a friend, but that's all that's ever happened. I don't know why I am so drawn to contacting her, but I feel there is a reason. I guess the time just hasn't happened yet. I know for a fact that she harbors some mistaken ill-will towards me (based on an apparent misunderstanding), but still the feelings persist.
Another friend is actually one half of a couple in my mind (not sure if that's still how it is, but well that's how my memory perceives him), and he was my first real goth friend. I can't even remember his last name now all these years later (another high school friend, although we didn't go to school together). His face rises to my inner eye more times than I can count. I worry about him at random moments, and I can't even imagine how I could make any concerted effort to look him up without even a last name, and nothing more than a first name (Jonathon) to go off of. I know where he grew up (strangely enough only a few miles from the place I grew up, although by the time we met I had long ago moved away).
The third person, strangely enough, is a friend who was very important to me during the whole chaos that ensued around me kicking my cheating husband out in 2003. We stayed in touch for awhile, but then things got sour (yet another misunderstanding). He comes to mind on occasion, but lately it's been constant. I recently was going through some things and came across a stuffed teddy bear dressed as a fairy which he had given me. I kicked my husband out on February 3, 2003, and that valentines day my wonderful friends all pitched in to make the day special. Until very recently this stuffed bear sat on a shelf with some other sad and lonely stuffed animals. The wings on the little fairy outfit were tattered and beat up. I cleaned up the bear and passed her on to another needy person. It's just strange that this was literally just the other day, because I met his wife on Saturday. At the full moon ritual. She knows many of the wonderful people I have been practicing with. How strange is that!!!
Anyhow, it's just tripping me out, three people I keep having the strongest urges to reach out to, and sometimes the Lord and Lady just drop them into your lap. I don't have any urge to talk to him or anything like that, and meeting his wife... it all suddenly made sense, and I think that meeting her was my answer. I just can't explain it any better than that.
So I know I've talked a little bit about coincidences before, but sometimes they just smack me upside of the head so hard I just have to stop and take notice.
Two of my friends recently have talked to me about having billy clubs for protection. Two people who have never met each other and probably have nothing in common. All within two days of each other.
Saturday some friends and I had a long discussion about Zombies. Today a separate unrelated friend posted a long post on Facebook about Zombies.
There've been other things too, just too many to count. It just cracks me up sometimes.
So now that class is over, it's time to do some in-depth work on my own again. I'll be delving deeper into my books and keeping track of the things I come across that really speak to me. This seems like as good a place as any to do that.
One thing we had to do was a project for the Full Moon ritual our group wrote for tomorrow night's (okay, okay, tonight's) ritual. We wrote blessings to pass out, and here were the ones that moved me. Please note I didn't write these, and I'm not certain who did.
Love is short, love is real,
Trust your heart, what you feel,
Live your life, sing your song,
Make it sweet and make it strong.
Even in the darkest night,
Believe in the wonder
Believe in the light
Believe in your soul
Believe your insight
Believe that, at last,
It will come out right.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it! - W.H. Murray
Last night was our dedication/naming ritual. Gypsy Crow, with her usual aplomb and sense of humor, was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better ceremony- both solemn and fun. A friend mentioned it was like her wedding day, and I have to agree!! That overwhelming mix of exhilaration, pride, love, and companionship with my peers will stay with me the rest of my life.
My name? Gryphen StormSong.
It was a bittersweet event as well, though, since it brings to a close our 10-week set of classes. It's amazing how close you can grow to people in only 10 weeks, one day a week (with a few extra days thrown in). I've gotten to know some AMAZING people, and I hope to be able to stay in touch with ALL of them as time moves forward.
So I missed the public Beltane ritual put on by Gypsy Crow and Blue Willow. I knew I was going to, as I had a camping trip scheduled long before I even enrolled in class and got to know everyone. I'm sad that I missed it, but at the same time my camping trip was AMAZING!
At one point I walked away from the 40+ people who joined me on this camping trip in order to just spend a few moments breathing. The place we were camping was spectacular, nestled in a valley in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest with Tower Rock looming monolithic above us. There were several ponds scattered across the campground, and the sound of the frogs at night was serene.
I walked away, found a quiet spot, closed my eyes, held me arms out, and tipped my head back. It had been storming all day, and the name given to me during my God journey swelled into my heart: StormSong. The song of the storm filled me, overflowing from me, nearly bringing tears to my eyes. During this trip of companionship and comradeship, of spectacular flora, fauna and scenery, my spirit found peace among all the craziness of cooking and organizing for so many people.
As the peace flowed through me, I heard the sound of wings fluttering. I had been hearing the wings for a few weeks now, and I somehow sensed that the sound had something to do with the missing part of my name. I knew StormSong was right, but I knew deep down that there was something else. I just couldn't figure it out. Piecing together my clues, I thought maybe it was related to raptors- that was what my instinct was saying. But nothing seemed to fit with that. It was like it was right on the edge of my vision, but as soon as I turned my head it would flicker away.
I let it all go in that moment. I just felt, breathed, and just WAS. And it came to me clear as a bell- Gryphen. Why the strange spelling? I don't know, and I didn't for a moment question it. Everything snapped into place inside of me, and I knew for a fact that my name was Gryphen StormSong. I probably had the silliest grin on my face as I leaned into the wind, but it was simply a reflection of the sheer joy spinning through me.
So while I missed out on Beltane, I wouldn't have missed that moment for anything.
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
Buddha
Tomorrow for class we are to write God invocations and devocations. Here are mine:
God Invocation:
Hail to the God, our solar father, we ask that you bless our gathering with your solar power, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of strength, vitality and logic. Hail and welcome.
God Devocation:
Solar father, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of strength, vitality, and logic. Hail and farewell.
Last night was my first full moon ritual. Blue Willow was our priestess. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I did remember to take my "athame," which is actually a long dagger that I bought originally for my wedding.
It was a wonderful experience; not that I was expecting any different! I completely felt the energy flowing through me. I am sure that as I practice, it will be an even more powerful experience, but it certainly was NOT a disappointment!
Of course we had TWO amazing veggie-full soups to chow down on afterward and that certainly helped! Nummers......
Tonight's class was centered around learning about the Sabbats and doing a God journey. The journey was interesting, and I still am not sure I understand the messages completely, but I've taken note of them and if I am meant to understand them, I will.
As we were led down a path, suddenly at my side looked a huge pure-white Gypsy Vanner. Strange that it was pure white, since they are usually paints (which is one of the attractions for me). I've been in passionate love with Gypsy Vanners (some people call them Gypsy Cobs, Irish Cobs, etc. There's some debate about the "correct" name, but since I first learned about them as Gypsy Vanners, that's the name I use) when I started my Draft Dreams website more than 12 years ago. The OLDEST version of the site is still online here. Be warned, it's FULL of dead links. Draftdreams.com isn't up anymore, although maybe one day it will be. During it's time, Draft Dreams was the second largest draft-horse website on the 'net. To see what a Gypsy Vanner looks like, here is a website from a Redmond, WA based breeder.
Anyhow, back to the subject at hand- Gypsy Vanners. One day I will have one. At least one. I know now's not the right time for me, and it kills me not to be around horses. The smell literally kills a little piece of me, I miss horses so bad. I got my first horse when I was 10, and when I was 18 I sold her because I didn't have time for her. In the meantime, we had four other horses that came and went. Judy was my heart-song, though. She wasn't a Vanner, but she was literally my best friend.
I think I've been in denial of my horse-passion for many years. I can't afford horses right now, and quite frankly even if I could I simply do not have the time to commit, which is the most important thing. Maybe it won't be until I retire that I will be able to have horses again, but one day I will. I'm certain of it.
This white Vanner, who I know (somehow) was a stallion, turned to look me in the eye, and said straight into my thoughts, "Do not deny me." All the while I was preening about my wolf spirit guide, I think I was denying my horse spirit guide. I had always assumed that once I became a parent, the horse spirit guide left me, but I think the honest truth is, I left him.
The experience brought tears to my eyes. The rest of the journey was almost anticlimactic. I leaped onto his back (yeah as if THAT could happen in real life- he was HUGE), and we continued on down the path, together. I could feel his comforting warmth through my jeans, and his muscles bunching beneath my thighs. I wrapped my hands into his incredibly thick mane, and then just closed my eyes to enjoy the experience. If you've never ridden a horse, it's hard to explain the swaying, the sound of his hooves, the smell of horse-sweat, leather, and sweet hay.
We reached the described creek, and rather than me drinking from it, he did. But I could taste the crisp clean water anyhow. We continued on to the described giant oak, and once we reached the tree I slid from his back, pressing into him for a long moment, just breathing while he reached around his massive head and blew his sweet hay breath over me.
Finally I turned to the tree and wrapped my arms around it, eventually melding into the tree and heading for the breeze-tossed branches at the top. God came to me as a Centaur, eerily enough, but darker and swarthier than my white Vanner below. Dark charcoal dapples covered his horse-half, with heavy feathers like a Shire. His human half was sleek and heavily muscled, as I would imagine a draft stallion would look if he turned human. He sported long, thick, tangled dark hair and a flowing tangled beard. His eyes were pools so dark they looked black. He leaned towards me, and stated clearly. "Be strong." Then he handed me a scroll, and I unrolled it to read "Share your core of strength." I looked up and met his eyes, confused, but the look he gave me was knowing. A name floated into my head.... and I knew it was my Craft name. StormSong.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out an arrow. I remember thinking, "what, do I have Mary Poppins pockets, to pull this thing out of there?" The arrow was sleek and black, with some sort of ebony, heavily grained wood, a chipped obsidian head, and sleek iridescent black feathers as the fletching.
I retraced my steps back to the bottom of the tree and was once again with my White Stallion, where I leaped onto his back again and we made our way back down the path before my journey ended.
I literally had tears in my eyes. While my wolf spirit guide brought a fierce sense to me, my horse guide brought me passion.
For tomorrow's class we were asked to write a Goddess invocation and devocation. Here is what I came up with...
Goddess Invocation:
Hail to the Goddess, our moon mother, we ask that you bless our gathering with your lunar power, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of emotion, peace and love. Hail and welcome.
Goddess Devocation:
Lunar mother, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of emotion, peace, and love. Hail and farewell.
Class on Friday was a blast. We did a Goddess journey, and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by how it worked out. We were led to the back of a vulture, then directed as our arms became wings and we took flight ourselves, and flew into a cave. My cave was decorated all around with rough charcoal-looking drawings of animals of all sorts. Later I realized that the animals were all native animals to this area: Fox, otter, bear, wolf, deer, elk, rabbit, owl, etc. We were then led on to meet the Goddess. My "version" was stunningly beautiful, with porcelain skin, leaf-green eyes, and a flowing tumble of knee-length burnished red curls. She was garbed in a long-sleeved white gown with a short-sleeved over-gown of pale green. All around her I could sense (and see with my third eye but not with my physical eyes) animals writhing about her; the same animals from the cave walls.
Now, I had gone to the zoo on Friday and the first thing I thought was, “well no wonder I wanted to go to the zoo today!” But now of course I wonder if it wasn’t the other way around? I’m not sure yet.
The Goddess had a stone in her hands; a perfectly egg-shaped, egg-sized piece of translucent, iridescent rainbow moonstone. She placed it in my third eye, and memories of animals came pouring into my head. The flickers of animal faces and bits of their knowledge flickered through my head as if there was one animal on each piece of film and the projector was running like crazy across the backs of my eyes. The information flooded so fast that I couldn’t catch any one part as standing out.
She leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Believe.” Then she laughed softly, her breath tickling my skin, and she said “Trust in your…” And at the same time she said two words, and it seemed like they were intertwined. “Faith” and “Intuition.”
I found a small silver ring in my pocket, and I knew I was meant to give it to her. It was perfect, shining and round. She slid it onto her finger with her all-knowing, wise smile as I turned away to leave.
There were all sorts of messages in this journey, and it was time I started sorting them out. Things that popped into my head randomly either during or right after….
· I seem to have an affinity for raptors of all types; kestrels, eagles, owls, hawks, falcons, ospreys, harriers…. I never really thought about it before now, but it’s there, and I think I should look into it more.
· The animals seemed to be a clue of some sort. I’ll have to think/meditate more on that…
· Wales kept coming up. And aside from the relationship to Torchwood (Cardiff!!), and that I have a great-great-grandmother from Wales, I don’t know why. Time to check it out. Maybe I should study Welsh/Celtic goddesses?
Looking up the metaphysical definition of Rainbow Moonstone I find, “Rainbow moonstone has a gentle, calming energy. It helps to strengthen intuition and psychic perception, and enhances creativity, compassion, endurance and inner confidence. It is a stone that brings balance and harmony. The Rainbow effect brings in a spectrum of light, and can help with clearing and bringing in uplifting energies. It has been said to have the power to grant wishes. Rainbow Moonstone is primarily related to the Crown Chakra.”
Looking up the metaphysical definition of egg-shaped stones I find, “Egg shaped stones are said to assist with stress reduction. The egg shape symbolizes the potential and developmental stage of our goals and dreams. The egg also symbolizes the void, the unknown and unformed from which form and realization are born.”
More to come as I do more research….
Today was my first ritual since I began following the Pagan Path, in honor of Ostara, which celebrates the Vernal Equinox. Ostara is celebrated as a time of rebirth and renewal, marking the balance of light and dark, when day and night are of equal length.
To celebrate Ostara, we gathered down at the Venus Moon, my local metaphysical store. Co-Priestesses Gypsy Crow and Blue Willow were amazing, and the mood as everyone gathered into Circle was lighthearted and fun (the bunny ears our Co-Priestesses wore probably helped). I have to admit that when the cork blew off the bottle behind Gypsy Crow while she was invoking Goddess, my spirit just soared! The Goddess was certainly showing her presence, wasn't she? As part of our ritual, we planted Nasturtiums in paper cups and wrote on the bottom of the cup a wish we wanted to have happen over the next year. Overall, the ritual was simple, serene, and amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better "initiation." The energy that rippled and seethed around all of us was palpable.
All in all, it was a wonderful, exhilarating experience.
So our assignment for class this week is to write our own invocations and devocations for the elements. Erm... Okay. And I volunteered to invoke Air at this week's class, too! Sooooo, winging it, here's what I came up with. For those that don't know, invoking elements is asking for the spirit of each element to support our group/meeting/ritual, etc. Devoking is closing it down. What's bugging me, is I can't remember how to exactly START the invocations. I will have to check my notes when I get home and see if we have a sample to work from, but I don't think so. So there goes my super-perfectionist side wanting it to be "just right."
Invocations:
Oh spirit of Air, we ask that you bless our gathering with creativity, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of wisdom, intellect, and clear communication. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Fire, we ask that you bless our gathering with passion, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of discipline, willpower, and energy. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Water, we ask that you bless our gathering with intuition, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of love, joy, and compassion. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Earth, we ask that you bless our gathering with strength, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of patience, abundance, and stability. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Devocations:
Oh spirit of Air, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of wisdom, intellect, and clear communication. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Fire, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of discipline, willpower, and energy. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Water, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of love, joy, and compassion. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Earth we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of patience, abundance, and stability. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
So I haven't spent much time here lately, which makes me a little sad, but now I have a new computer at home, so I think I can make a better effort to sign in from home. In the meantime, here are some of my musings for the day...
While at the Pagan Discussion Group that I have been attending, I heard of a class at my local metaphysical bookstore, taught by the amazing Gypsy Crow. She's a wonderful lady, frank and open and she doesn't try to pretend something she's not. I love her personality, and her sarcastic, quirky sense of humor. She can laugh at herself, and I love that too. Of course I signed up as soon as I could. The class is called Applied Witchcraft 101.
I've attended two sessions so far, and both went pretty well. We did a meditation exercise last week, to find out animal spirit guides. I wasn't surprised when the animal that appeared even before Gypsy Crow led us to it was a wolf. Wolf has held a position in my life for a long time; right up with crow. I was pleased when Gypsy Crow mentioned to me that wolves and crows had close ties, because it certainly explained a lot to me! Wolf wasn’t much of a surprise for me, and it was rather comforting to see Her furry figure. What did surprise me was that wolf was pure white. I’m not sure what that signifies, but I’m going to look into that.
I have a little tattoo on my ankle, of a horseshoe surrounding a wolf paw print. It's super simplistic, no detail at all. I drew it after my first daughter was born, when I realized that the animal I was drawn to had changed. Horse was my previous guide, but when I became a parent it changed to wolf. That makes sense. To me, horse has always represented running before thinking, freedom. They are flight animals and they use their long legs to flee from danger; of course horse will fight with tearing teeth and sharp-edged hooves if she has to.
Wolf, on the other hand, while still a pack animal (as horses are in herds), is more about protection and intuition and guidance. Wolf will stand and fight for her family. Becoming a mother brought that to me, that fierce unexplainable mother's love. But wolf also represents faithfulness and inner strength. The funny thing is, about the time I got my tattoo, is about the time my ex started to cheat on me with my “best friend.” So I guess there’s a little irony in there, since years later when that was revealed to me, I certainly found my inner strength. I’m a completely different person now. That whole “mess” was like a cleansing fire, and I was like the iron in that fire, being tempered by the scathing heat. Whole weights lifted off of me as I shook off the slag, and while my life is not perfect now, I am fully more content with it than I ever was before.
I’ve also grown not just content with my life, but with my person. I know I’m not perfect, I’m still ironing out some flaws, but at least now I have opened my eyes up to them. I’m sure there are still some hidden depths I have yet to plumb, but I think by just becoming more aware I’ve gone a long ways.
Another thing I’m proud of is my ability to see situations from all sides. I find it sadly amusing that most of humanity will never once try to understand a difficult situation from both sides. Is it just human nature, or is it a refusal to expand one's way of thinking? I've often been criticized by friends for "defending" people when in reality it's simply a matter of me trying to put myself... in their shoes to understand them better. Is that a waste of my energy? I don't think so. But our culture is so judgmental that most of us figure they have a right to be critical of each other and other people's decisions. I don't ask anyone to agree with my decisions; I just ask that he or she support them. I don't ask anyone to tread my path with me, I just ask for his or her consideration. And I will try to share my support and consideration with him or her as well. Am I just too forgiving? Is it wrong for me to try to see the other person's perspective, or to try to see both people's perspective when I am not directly involved? Am I being too judgmental myself by mashing most of humanity into my earlier statement? It doesn't feel wrong, it feels right, and I feel like I need to stay on my path and keep trying to read both sides....
So I’ll continue down my Path and see where it leads.
Last weekend I went on a photowalk (where my little group of photographers roams around looking for interesting things to take photos of) at the Tahoma National Cemetery, and while we were there we saw a Pileated Woodpecker. My heart fluttered, and deep down I knew it was a message.
Looking up woodpecker as a spirit totem, I find that woodpecker is about devotion, sensitivity, protection, and earth connection. I think that woodpecker was a sign from the God(dess) that I am being watched over, and that I am on the right path to my own devotion and that it's all right to trust my sensitivity.
It sure does seem like there isn't enough time for all the things I want to accomplish, much less the things that simply need to get done (ie feeding the kids, making sure their homework is done, cleaning the house...). So I've decided to begin a serious cleansing project. I'm working to make it fun and rewarding, but I really think it needs to happen.
I have too many hobbies, for one. Beading, knitting, crocheting, sewing, writing, photography, scrap booking, hiking... I think I need to purge out the ones that I don't use much anymore. Knitting and crocheting shouldn't be too hard- I only dabble in those. I have family and friends I can pass on my supplies to (minus my grandmother's crochet needle set- those I will always keep). Photography just won't happen- it's too much a part of my everyday world. Scrap booking won’t stop, because that’s a legacy for my children. Hiking will continue, it's a balm for spirit and body. Writing I am fitting in where I can.
Beading is hard to give up, though. I have so many wonderful ideas and projects in some sort of state of completeness. But I haven’t made the time lately, and I wonder if I should just pass the tools on to a family member who I know will make good use of them. I had aspirations of setting up an etsy shop one day, but… where are my priorities? I can keep my favorite tools and a handful of treasured finds that I can maybe one day have something done with (like a gorgeous quartz point I had drilled). I can try to carve out some time to finish up those unfinished projects first, I suppose. Except that I kind of think that if I had a passion for finishing them, I would have done it already. I have a bunch of finished work, mostly bracelets and pendulums, and now I have to decide what to do with them… So for now the beading sits in my cupboard waiting for me to make up my mind.
It’s not the money I spent on all of it, although that gives me a little pause to be honest. It’s the potential and possibility of all the beautiful things I bought to make something specific…
Grrr…. I’ve gotten rid of a majority of it already, so I may stick this little box back in the cupboard for now, and if I haven’t done anything with it in a few months, then let it go…
Stuff. I have so much of it! Not just physical stuff, but even all the way to random stuff on my computer. I just ordered a new puter, so it’s time to sort through all the CDs and flash drives and even my three old hard drives… it’ll be time consuming, but it’ll be beautiful when we are done.
So I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Wicca 101 classes being offered at a local metaphysical shop. The instructor is a member of the Meetup group I attended the other day, and while I'm a little nervous, for some strange reason, I'm also looking forward to attending. It's a 10-class set.
I'm looking forward to the Meetup this weekend!! It's a pagan discussion group, meeting at a local metaphysical shop. This is the first meeting, and I'm thankful to be coming in on the "ground floor" because I'm not sure I'd have the guts at this point to jump feet first into an already established group. But at the same time, I've found no one, and I mean no one, to talk to about about any of this. My husband will listen, he's actually a very good listener, but I can't really bounce ideas off him because he doesn't have any interest.
I've even considered asking my ex's long-term girlfriend, but for some reason something keeps stopping me.
So it's off to the Meetup I go! I'm as usual battling my natural tendencies to be shy, and I've halfway considered canceling several times, but I'm not going to, dang it. I need to go, if nothing else than to lay some answers down at my feet.
I only have two more days to wait....
I think part of my frustration is not having anyone to answer my questions. Books and websites are all well and good, but I can't really ask a question. I suppose there are forums out there where I can find answers, but really where would I even start? I know there are a hundred different variations of Wicca (okay I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea), and so how do I find out which one is right for me? Do I just start with what I already feel is right, and keep track of it from there?
Do I seek to join a coven, or practice on my own? I don't really know yet.
I've read some great books. One that I just recently finished was my absolute favorite so far, and I plan to read it again. I will probably keep track of my reactions to the author's statements here, section by section.
What the author said made more sense than anything that I've read so far. I found myself nodding and hmmming with every paragraph, every page. The material was practical and did what I learn best with- don't just explain to me how something is done, tell me why it's done that way, teach me the history and the reasoning behind it.
Anyhow, enough rambling. Again. Guess I still have a lot of catching up to do!
So it's been a long few months, and I seem to have disappeared for awhile. Life intruded. I guess that's not a very good way to put it. I should say instead that life was blessedly busy! It's been a crazy path, but I haven't strayed- I just haven't made the time to post here.
I've been reading voraciously. I'm attending a pagan Meetup group this weekend (and I cannot WAIT), and I've been thinking, thinking, thinking....
I know it's probably pretty silly to be making such a fuss over this, but I can't seem to help it. It seems like it should be a simple decision, a simple twist of the path that I should be following with sheer confidence. But I haven't been.
The Craft feels right. I simply cannot explain it better. Nothing I have read or learned or studied gives me pause. It's my old prejudices and stereotypes that I have to deal with. That's a big thing for me. Which again, I know is silly, but I can't seem to work it all out.
My in-laws especially will not be okay with this. You might say, "well it's your life and your decision, so leave them out of it." But it's not really that simple. At least I haven't managed to squish it down into the little "don't worry about it" box. My husband is neutral. He believes in a higher power. That's about it. He's okay with whatever I do, whatever I decide.
I'm rambling. Just trying to get my ideas out of my head so I can make some sense of them. LOL!
My eldest daughter is thrilled. My ex's long-term girlfriend follows a Wiccan path, and from what I understand they celebrate together irregularly, and my eldest daughter has always had a fascination and a drawing to the craft. Maybe it's easier for her because I have worked very, very hard to raise her without the judgments I've had instilled. I don't know.
My family (mother, brother, sis-in-law) won't care one way or the other. They never were religious in any fashion. I only got involved in the Church through first our neighbor, then a close friend's family. Kinda funny, that.
So... back to my blogging. Back to figuring it all out. Why am I making this so damn complicated? It really isn't. It's a highly personal decision that shouldn't be anyone's business but my own. But I think working through my own fears about the family's opinion is part of my process.
Is it because I feel the same way, deep down? That doesn't feel right, considering the blessed CLEAN feeling I get when I am thinking about the Craft. I feel full of light, of goodness, and I have a spring in my step. Weariness is shed, sadness and anger slough away, and I'm just purely happy.
Then what's my problem? Sigh....
