Gryph's Lair

So I haven't spent much time here lately, which makes me a little sad, but now I have a new computer at home, so I think I can make a better effort to sign in from home. In the meantime, here are some of my musings for the day...

While at the Pagan Discussion Group that I have been attending, I heard of a class at my local metaphysical bookstore, taught by the amazing Gypsy Crow. She's a wonderful lady, frank and open and she doesn't try to pretend something she's not. I love her personality, and her sarcastic, quirky sense of humor. She can laugh at herself, and I love that too. Of course I signed up as soon as I could. The class is called Applied Witchcraft 101.

I've attended two sessions so far, and both went pretty well. We did a meditation exercise last week, to find out animal spirit guides. I wasn't surprised when the animal that appeared even before Gypsy Crow led us to it was a wolf. Wolf has held a position in my life for a long time; right up with crow. I was pleased when Gypsy Crow mentioned to me that wolves and crows had close ties, because it certainly explained a lot to me! Wolf wasn’t much of a surprise for me, and it was rather comforting to see Her furry figure. What did surprise me was that wolf was pure white. I’m not sure what that signifies, but I’m going to look into that.

I have a little tattoo on my ankle, of a horseshoe surrounding a wolf paw print. It's super simplistic, no detail at all. I drew it after my first daughter was born, when I realized that the animal I was drawn to had changed. Horse was my previous guide, but when I became a parent it changed to wolf. That makes sense. To me, horse has always represented running before thinking, freedom. They are flight animals and they use their long legs to flee from danger; of course horse will fight with tearing teeth and sharp-edged hooves if she has to.

Wolf, on the other hand, while still a pack animal (as horses are in herds), is more about protection and intuition and guidance. Wolf will stand and fight for her family. Becoming a mother brought that to me, that fierce unexplainable mother's love. But wolf also represents faithfulness and inner strength. The funny thing is, about the time I got my tattoo, is about the time my ex started to cheat on me with my “best friend.” So I guess there’s a little irony in there, since years later when that was revealed to me, I certainly found my inner strength. I’m a completely different person now. That whole “mess” was like a cleansing fire, and I was like the iron in that fire, being tempered by the scathing heat. Whole weights lifted off of me as I shook off the slag, and while my life is not perfect now, I am fully more content with it than I ever was before.

I’ve also grown not just content with my life, but with my person. I know I’m not perfect, I’m still ironing out some flaws, but at least now I have opened my eyes up to them. I’m sure there are still some hidden depths I have yet to plumb, but I think by just becoming more aware I’ve gone a long ways.

Another thing I’m proud of is my ability to see situations from all sides. I find it sadly amusing that most of humanity will never once try to understand a difficult situation from both sides. Is it just human nature, or is it a refusal to expand one's way of thinking? I've often been criticized by friends for "defending" people when in reality it's simply a matter of me trying to put myself... in their shoes to understand them better. Is that a waste of my energy? I don't think so. But our culture is so judgmental that most of us figure they have a right to be critical of each other and other people's decisions. I don't ask anyone to agree with my decisions; I just ask that he or she support them. I don't ask anyone to tread my path with me, I just ask for his or her consideration. And I will try to share my support and consideration with him or her as well. Am I just too forgiving? Is it wrong for me to try to see the other person's perspective, or to try to see both people's perspective when I am not directly involved? Am I being too judgmental myself by mashing most of humanity into my earlier statement? It doesn't feel wrong, it feels right, and I feel like I need to stay on my path and keep trying to read both sides....

So I’ll continue down my Path and see where it leads.