So our assignment for class this week is to write our own invocations and devocations for the elements. Erm... Okay. And I volunteered to invoke Air at this week's class, too! Sooooo, winging it, here's what I came up with. For those that don't know, invoking elements is asking for the spirit of each element to support our group/meeting/ritual, etc. Devoking is closing it down. What's bugging me, is I can't remember how to exactly START the invocations. I will have to check my notes when I get home and see if we have a sample to work from, but I don't think so. So there goes my super-perfectionist side wanting it to be "just right."
Invocations:
Oh spirit of Air, we ask that you bless our gathering with creativity, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of wisdom, intellect, and clear communication. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Fire, we ask that you bless our gathering with passion, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of discipline, willpower, and energy. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Water, we ask that you bless our gathering with intuition, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of love, joy, and compassion. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Earth, we ask that you bless our gathering with strength, and we ask that you grant us the gifts of patience, abundance, and stability. Hail and welcome (or blessed be).
Devocations:
Oh spirit of Air, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of wisdom, intellect, and clear communication. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Fire, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of discipline, willpower, and energy. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Water, we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of love, joy, and compassion. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
Oh spirit of Earth we thank you for your presence here tonight, and we thank you for your gifts of patience, abundance, and stability. Hail and farewell (or blessed be).
So I haven't spent much time here lately, which makes me a little sad, but now I have a new computer at home, so I think I can make a better effort to sign in from home. In the meantime, here are some of my musings for the day...
While at the Pagan Discussion Group that I have been attending, I heard of a class at my local metaphysical bookstore, taught by the amazing Gypsy Crow. She's a wonderful lady, frank and open and she doesn't try to pretend something she's not. I love her personality, and her sarcastic, quirky sense of humor. She can laugh at herself, and I love that too. Of course I signed up as soon as I could. The class is called Applied Witchcraft 101.
I've attended two sessions so far, and both went pretty well. We did a meditation exercise last week, to find out animal spirit guides. I wasn't surprised when the animal that appeared even before Gypsy Crow led us to it was a wolf. Wolf has held a position in my life for a long time; right up with crow. I was pleased when Gypsy Crow mentioned to me that wolves and crows had close ties, because it certainly explained a lot to me! Wolf wasn’t much of a surprise for me, and it was rather comforting to see Her furry figure. What did surprise me was that wolf was pure white. I’m not sure what that signifies, but I’m going to look into that.
I have a little tattoo on my ankle, of a horseshoe surrounding a wolf paw print. It's super simplistic, no detail at all. I drew it after my first daughter was born, when I realized that the animal I was drawn to had changed. Horse was my previous guide, but when I became a parent it changed to wolf. That makes sense. To me, horse has always represented running before thinking, freedom. They are flight animals and they use their long legs to flee from danger; of course horse will fight with tearing teeth and sharp-edged hooves if she has to.
Wolf, on the other hand, while still a pack animal (as horses are in herds), is more about protection and intuition and guidance. Wolf will stand and fight for her family. Becoming a mother brought that to me, that fierce unexplainable mother's love. But wolf also represents faithfulness and inner strength. The funny thing is, about the time I got my tattoo, is about the time my ex started to cheat on me with my “best friend.” So I guess there’s a little irony in there, since years later when that was revealed to me, I certainly found my inner strength. I’m a completely different person now. That whole “mess” was like a cleansing fire, and I was like the iron in that fire, being tempered by the scathing heat. Whole weights lifted off of me as I shook off the slag, and while my life is not perfect now, I am fully more content with it than I ever was before.
I’ve also grown not just content with my life, but with my person. I know I’m not perfect, I’m still ironing out some flaws, but at least now I have opened my eyes up to them. I’m sure there are still some hidden depths I have yet to plumb, but I think by just becoming more aware I’ve gone a long ways.
Another thing I’m proud of is my ability to see situations from all sides. I find it sadly amusing that most of humanity will never once try to understand a difficult situation from both sides. Is it just human nature, or is it a refusal to expand one's way of thinking? I've often been criticized by friends for "defending" people when in reality it's simply a matter of me trying to put myself... in their shoes to understand them better. Is that a waste of my energy? I don't think so. But our culture is so judgmental that most of us figure they have a right to be critical of each other and other people's decisions. I don't ask anyone to agree with my decisions; I just ask that he or she support them. I don't ask anyone to tread my path with me, I just ask for his or her consideration. And I will try to share my support and consideration with him or her as well. Am I just too forgiving? Is it wrong for me to try to see the other person's perspective, or to try to see both people's perspective when I am not directly involved? Am I being too judgmental myself by mashing most of humanity into my earlier statement? It doesn't feel wrong, it feels right, and I feel like I need to stay on my path and keep trying to read both sides....
So I’ll continue down my Path and see where it leads.
Last weekend I went on a photowalk (where my little group of photographers roams around looking for interesting things to take photos of) at the Tahoma National Cemetery, and while we were there we saw a Pileated Woodpecker. My heart fluttered, and deep down I knew it was a message.
Looking up woodpecker as a spirit totem, I find that woodpecker is about devotion, sensitivity, protection, and earth connection. I think that woodpecker was a sign from the God(dess) that I am being watched over, and that I am on the right path to my own devotion and that it's all right to trust my sensitivity.
It sure does seem like there isn't enough time for all the things I want to accomplish, much less the things that simply need to get done (ie feeding the kids, making sure their homework is done, cleaning the house...). So I've decided to begin a serious cleansing project. I'm working to make it fun and rewarding, but I really think it needs to happen.
I have too many hobbies, for one. Beading, knitting, crocheting, sewing, writing, photography, scrap booking, hiking... I think I need to purge out the ones that I don't use much anymore. Knitting and crocheting shouldn't be too hard- I only dabble in those. I have family and friends I can pass on my supplies to (minus my grandmother's crochet needle set- those I will always keep). Photography just won't happen- it's too much a part of my everyday world. Scrap booking won’t stop, because that’s a legacy for my children. Hiking will continue, it's a balm for spirit and body. Writing I am fitting in where I can.
Beading is hard to give up, though. I have so many wonderful ideas and projects in some sort of state of completeness. But I haven’t made the time lately, and I wonder if I should just pass the tools on to a family member who I know will make good use of them. I had aspirations of setting up an etsy shop one day, but… where are my priorities? I can keep my favorite tools and a handful of treasured finds that I can maybe one day have something done with (like a gorgeous quartz point I had drilled). I can try to carve out some time to finish up those unfinished projects first, I suppose. Except that I kind of think that if I had a passion for finishing them, I would have done it already. I have a bunch of finished work, mostly bracelets and pendulums, and now I have to decide what to do with them… So for now the beading sits in my cupboard waiting for me to make up my mind.
It’s not the money I spent on all of it, although that gives me a little pause to be honest. It’s the potential and possibility of all the beautiful things I bought to make something specific…
Grrr…. I’ve gotten rid of a majority of it already, so I may stick this little box back in the cupboard for now, and if I haven’t done anything with it in a few months, then let it go…
Stuff. I have so much of it! Not just physical stuff, but even all the way to random stuff on my computer. I just ordered a new puter, so it’s time to sort through all the CDs and flash drives and even my three old hard drives… it’ll be time consuming, but it’ll be beautiful when we are done.
So I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Wicca 101 classes being offered at a local metaphysical shop. The instructor is a member of the Meetup group I attended the other day, and while I'm a little nervous, for some strange reason, I'm also looking forward to attending. It's a 10-class set.
I'm looking forward to the Meetup this weekend!! It's a pagan discussion group, meeting at a local metaphysical shop. This is the first meeting, and I'm thankful to be coming in on the "ground floor" because I'm not sure I'd have the guts at this point to jump feet first into an already established group. But at the same time, I've found no one, and I mean no one, to talk to about about any of this. My husband will listen, he's actually a very good listener, but I can't really bounce ideas off him because he doesn't have any interest.
I've even considered asking my ex's long-term girlfriend, but for some reason something keeps stopping me.
So it's off to the Meetup I go! I'm as usual battling my natural tendencies to be shy, and I've halfway considered canceling several times, but I'm not going to, dang it. I need to go, if nothing else than to lay some answers down at my feet.
I only have two more days to wait....
I think part of my frustration is not having anyone to answer my questions. Books and websites are all well and good, but I can't really ask a question. I suppose there are forums out there where I can find answers, but really where would I even start? I know there are a hundred different variations of Wicca (okay I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea), and so how do I find out which one is right for me? Do I just start with what I already feel is right, and keep track of it from there?
Do I seek to join a coven, or practice on my own? I don't really know yet.
I've read some great books. One that I just recently finished was my absolute favorite so far, and I plan to read it again. I will probably keep track of my reactions to the author's statements here, section by section.
What the author said made more sense than anything that I've read so far. I found myself nodding and hmmming with every paragraph, every page. The material was practical and did what I learn best with- don't just explain to me how something is done, tell me why it's done that way, teach me the history and the reasoning behind it.
Anyhow, enough rambling. Again. Guess I still have a lot of catching up to do!
So it's been a long few months, and I seem to have disappeared for awhile. Life intruded. I guess that's not a very good way to put it. I should say instead that life was blessedly busy! It's been a crazy path, but I haven't strayed- I just haven't made the time to post here.
I've been reading voraciously. I'm attending a pagan Meetup group this weekend (and I cannot WAIT), and I've been thinking, thinking, thinking....
I know it's probably pretty silly to be making such a fuss over this, but I can't seem to help it. It seems like it should be a simple decision, a simple twist of the path that I should be following with sheer confidence. But I haven't been.
The Craft feels right. I simply cannot explain it better. Nothing I have read or learned or studied gives me pause. It's my old prejudices and stereotypes that I have to deal with. That's a big thing for me. Which again, I know is silly, but I can't seem to work it all out.
My in-laws especially will not be okay with this. You might say, "well it's your life and your decision, so leave them out of it." But it's not really that simple. At least I haven't managed to squish it down into the little "don't worry about it" box. My husband is neutral. He believes in a higher power. That's about it. He's okay with whatever I do, whatever I decide.
I'm rambling. Just trying to get my ideas out of my head so I can make some sense of them. LOL!
My eldest daughter is thrilled. My ex's long-term girlfriend follows a Wiccan path, and from what I understand they celebrate together irregularly, and my eldest daughter has always had a fascination and a drawing to the craft. Maybe it's easier for her because I have worked very, very hard to raise her without the judgments I've had instilled. I don't know.
My family (mother, brother, sis-in-law) won't care one way or the other. They never were religious in any fashion. I only got involved in the Church through first our neighbor, then a close friend's family. Kinda funny, that.
So... back to my blogging. Back to figuring it all out. Why am I making this so damn complicated? It really isn't. It's a highly personal decision that shouldn't be anyone's business but my own. But I think working through my own fears about the family's opinion is part of my process.
Is it because I feel the same way, deep down? That doesn't feel right, considering the blessed CLEAN feeling I get when I am thinking about the Craft. I feel full of light, of goodness, and I have a spring in my step. Weariness is shed, sadness and anger slough away, and I'm just purely happy.
Then what's my problem? Sigh....
